


Taboo Love

by Sammynughh



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester, Bottom Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester Cuddling, Destiel - Freeform, Each Chapter a Different Story, F/M, Forbidden Love, Insomniac Sam, M/M, POV Stories, Passion, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Sam Winchester, S&M, Samifer - Freeform, Sexual Violence, Soulmates, Taboo, Top Crowley, Top Dean Winchester, Top Lucifer (Supernatural), Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 08:36:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9539990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammynughh/pseuds/Sammynughh
Summary: WARNING: MATURE ADIENCESWINCEST & NON WINCESTSmut, Angst & Fluff. Mostly Smut.7 Chapters each telling a separate and different story:Sam's POVDean's POVCas' POVLucifer's POVMy POVCrowley's POVSam's POV Story 2Summary for each story is at beginning of each Chapter.





	1. Taboo Love (Sam's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FIRST STORY: Sam's POV  
> Sam can't sleep. It's 2016 and Sam sleeps in Dean's bed at the bunker. It's more out of comfort and necessity than anything sexual. They keep each other's nightmares away. Oh, there's more, Sam can't sleep and his thoughts are running amuck. Please step in for a peek. Warning: There is some brother on brother fooling around. Ok, it's sex. If they never actually fuck or suck is it still sex? You be the judge.

I'm lying on my back in bed looking up at the ceiling of our bunker in the dark. Dean is using my chest as a pillow and has for several years now. Especially since I cured him from being a demon. It's as if he believes I can keep the demons from chasing him in his dreams and the demons do chase him. Just as Lucifer still sometimes chases me in my dreams. We're fine until we are caught. I hate being caught. An uncontrollable shiver runs through me. Dean stirs, but goes back to his steady deep breathing. I hate nights like this when I can't sleep, but he can. I wonder what he dreams about. I smile. Is it me? Dad? Bobby? Some woman? A dude? I control my urge to snicker at that. I'm the only dude he's ever been with and even then it's only been a few times. It's so taboo to us both. Seriously.

I close my eyes and think about the last time we were together like that. He thought for sure I was going to die. I could see in his eyes the pain and desperation of not wanting to lose me. Of not wanting to be alone. Of course everything turned out okay, but emotions were still high...

As soon as we are alone, Dean has me against a wall crushing kisses against my lips, throat and jaw. I'm holding him so tight. "I'm not going anywhere Dean. I'm okay." I kiss him back, gripping at his shoulders and pulling his jacket off. He quickly tosses it down and pulls my shirt off actually ripping it. I gasp at his wicked mouth dancing over my neck and chest while we undo each other's belts and pants. I pull his shirt off and he pushes me onto the bed. He grips my jeans and pulls them off so I'm only in my boxer/briefs. I kick my boots off while he takes his off and finishes his undress. Soon we're in our underwear, in bed kissing and holding each other. It's the way it always begins. Dean has his elbows on either side of me. "Sammy." His chest on top of mine. I can feel his heart beating so hard, like mine. I'm kissing his neck and sucking at his earlobe. Our erections are rubbing each other's thigh in a rhythm. He sighs heavily as I roll him over to his back. He kisses me deeply and I suck on his tongue. His hands running over my spine and under the band of my underwear to just gently rub my ass before moving his hand back up again. I nip at his bottom lip before moving to kiss him everywhere down from his beautiful swollen lips to his perfect abs. His hands are in my hair the whole time. I look up at my brother. His green eyes are watching me with heat and desire. There's something more. "I love you Sammy." His hands move to my face. I move up and kiss his lips once more. "I want you to know I need you Sammy. Not because I'm horny." He gives me a gorgeous smile. "Sammy, it's like you're my other half somehow. Like you're part of me that I'd die without." "Dean, I've been thinking that about you all along." I kiss him with more passion than I have kissed anyone in my whole life. I've only ever kissed him like this. He responds in kind. Our tongues dance and lips mesh perfectly. My hand pulls his shorts down and I take his hardness in my hand. He throws his head back in bliss as I stroke his length. "Yes." I kiss his neck and under his chin. He turns his head and I kiss his cheek as he moans my name. "Sammy." He returns the favor. He takes my shorts down releasing my already leaking member. Pushes me over and kisses my collarbone. Licks up my throat sending chills down my spine. "Dean." We're laying on our sides now facing each other. He's jerking me and I'm jerking him. It doesn't take long. We are so worked up already and close to our climax that we both just look into each other's eyes and soon we fall over the edge. I like to think of it as both of us shattering into a million pieces and then we come back together in each other's arms. We reach out and pull ourselves into one another with kisses and tears. The tension had been so thick before and was broken. Dean gets up after a few moments of loving on me. He gets a warm washcloth. I'm whispering "I love you." over and over as he cleans us both up. He returns the endearments with a smile that's so brilliant. The blush on his cheeks will be something I will cherish forever.

...Dean stirs on my chest as he sleeps. I open my eyes and see he's just resituating. I move my hand over his hair, behind his ear and he settles back into peaceful slumber. I nuzzle the top of his head as I close my eyes again. Those times of mutual passion between me and Dean are few and that's fine. We've never gone further than kissing, touching and hand jobs. I know how taboo it is for us to be together like this. I've been too afraid to talk with Dean about anything more. He may actually get angry and force me from his bed all together. I'm actually content. Every night, I get to hold my big brother and make him feel safe. This is how I feel safe. Dean knows this and allows it. More than allows it, I think he needs it as much as I do, but is afraid to admit it. He's never going to admit to anything that will show him as having any sort of weakness. Even if that weakness is me. I readily admit Dean is my weakness.  
I really worry about Dean's guilt. I won't say it's unfounded because hey, what we do is something even I should have guilt over. Only reason I don't is because of who we are: Michael and Lucifer's vessels, Men of Letters, Hunters, resurrected from the dead (times 100 plus for Dean), sons of a resurrected mom, time travellers and worse of all women we love tend to die. Not all. Jody, Krissy and Claire are still alive. Just thinking about them I probably put them in harms way somehow. Fuck! This is why I won't give up what I have with Dean. Ever! I won't feel guilty about it either. Dean is safe for me to love. Furthermore, I still have faith and pray. I thank Chuck for my brother and pray that he doesn't let one of us die without the other. He knows he'd just be a really sick capricious bastard for sure if he did. I know you heard that Chuck! I kiss Dean's head once more before I try yet again to fall asleep.


	2. Taboo Love (Dean's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> STORY 2: Dean's POV  
> This is a Prequel meaning this story dates back to about December 2010. Sam just got his soul back from Death. Dean's been without his brother's affections since he fell into Lucifer's cage. Soulless Sam has been cold and heartless. See how Dean has/hasn't dealt with situations. See their reunion of sorts. Dean goes through all sorts of emotions. It's a rollercoaster. Enjoy!

There was nothing more I wanted to do when I was a vampire than sink my fangs into Sammy's throat and taste his blood upon my lips. That scared the Holy hell out of me. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt my Sammy. Even though my brother wasn't quite acting like himself. I swore he let the vamp bite me. He actually watched with a bit of glee. I just kept seeing Sam's blood pumping in my mind. Smelling it's sweetness. It was calling me. I wanted to hold him and protect him from the monster inside of me. I was losing my mind between the call of his blood and need to keep him safe. I couldn't get away from him fast enough.

Inside the vamp nest I was determined to get the blood of the vamp that turned me so I could be cured. I refused to remain a monster. When all the vamps figured out I was a traitor all I could think about was my little brother. I have to survive this. I have to get back to Sam. I slaughtered every last one of those sonsabitches. I felt like I was possessed. It reminded me of being in the pit. The blade in my hand was at one with my arm and body. I sliced through flesh and bone with pleasure. Yes, I said I enjoyed what I did to each and every one of those things. I know they use to be human like me. Hell, at the time I wasn't even human. I really didn't care. All that mattered to me was my brother.

I was cured and I was so afraid it wouldn't work. That night I was sick as could be. Normally, Sam would be right there holding me and caring for me. He wasn't. I had to go to him and give him a look of pain. Even then it took him longer than it should have to reach out to me with any kind of comfort. I took what little he offered. I laid down in his his bed. He spooned up behind me. It was warm. It was comforting. Something was wrong with my Sammy.

That's when I first knew something wasn't right with my brother. His soul was missing. How the fuck does he get out of Lucifer's cage without his soul? Anyway, I made a deal with Death and got Sam's soul back. Sam was so scared. My heart was breaking as I watched him fighting it. Death put it back with a wall protecting him from the bad part that's so scorched it could kill him. What was I thinking? Sam's soul had been in Hell with the devil himself for right at 180 years. What kind of brother forces his own flesh and blood to endure being reunited with that kind of pain and torment? Well, you're lookin at him.

I got my brother back. We are finally alone in our hotel room. I rush up to my brother and touch his face, hair, shoulders. Look into his eyes, "Sammy are you really okay?" My mind is a mess. Did I fuck up my brother worse by forcing him to take his soul back? Sam grips my roaming hands, "Dean. I'm fine." He releases my hands and pulls me into his arms. First time he's done this on his own accord in months. I start crying.

"Dean? What's wrong?"

I grip Sam so tight and I know it wrong, but I kiss him. I kiss him full on the lips and with all the pent up emotions I've had, I just grip Sam by his hair and kiss him. Not surprisingly, Sam kisses me back. We stumble onto the bed and Sam's hovering over me. He brushes the tears from my cheeks. His eyes have their spark back. His smile is back. My Sammy is back. "I've missed you." "I've been right here Dean." Sam looks a bit confused and why shouldn't he be. I clarify, "Sammy, your soul was gone and it made you so cold and void. You had no real love or spark of life in you." I reach up and run my fingers over the dimple of his face and trace across his lips. I watch his face soften at my touch. "Before, if I touched you, you'd behave as if it was nothing or as if I was an annoyance to you. Now you shine like the ray of light I know you to be. Your eyes have more color even. You truly have no idea how much I've missed seeing this aspect of you. My Sammy." Sam blushes some. "Dean. I'm sorry I..." I put my palm over his mouth before he could finish. "It wasn't your fault. None of it. Don't you dare apologize to me ever." I remove my hand. "Just know I love all of you. Even your bitchy soulless side." Sam smiles, "Really." "Yeah really." Sam kisses me again. His hand on my jaw as he pushes his tongue past my lips and explores my mouth. His tongue is wicked. His other hand moves over my chest and abs. My hand moves through his hair. I may tease him a lot about it, but I love it. It's beautiful and so soft. Sam moves his hand over my jeans and rubs my bulging crotch. I moan into our kiss. I should stop this. Sam's grinding on my thigh. I should stop this. I'm the older brother. Fuck this feels amazing. I don't want to stop. Sam kisses across my cheek and says breathlessly, "Just tell me if you want to stop. I will." I open my eyes and look at Sam. I see love. With reluctance in my voice, I answer, "You know we should stop right?" I reach up and touch Sammy's face and thumb his swollen lower lip.

Sam sits up next to me. I turn toward him and hold his hand in both of mine. "Dean, I don't care. I just know I want to feel you with me right now because we have been apart too long." My heart is racing. The look he's giving me is the one I've longed for since he's been gone.

It finally hits me. Sammy's here and no longer in that God forsaken cage. The memory of Sam falling into that hole hits me like a ton of bricks like it has night after night ever since it happened. "Sammy, do you finally feel like you're home? Like you're finally free?" Sam gives me a small grin then nods. "Yes Dean. That's exactly how it feels. I may not remember the cage, but I can remember the vastness of it. It's like there was a hole" Sam touches his chest. "and it's filled or being filled when I look at you. Like all the vastness of desperation and hopelessness has been erased because I'm here with you." Sam scratches his head. "It's hard to explain." I sit up against the headboard. "I completely understand. It's how I felt returning from the pit. At first I had no memory, but it did return. The vastness you're talking about I remember and it's profound."

I pull my brother to my chest and he comes willingly. "Sammy, I'm so happy you're home. Let's get ready for bed, ok." Sam sighs as he lifts his head and kisses me softly. "Jerk." "Bitch." We both smile.

He takes a shower and comes out of the bathroom with billows of steam and a towel around his hips. "Did you leave any hot water for me?" Sam shrugs. I point at him and scowl, "For your sake, you better hope so." "Oooo I'm scared." I turn my head and smile so he can't see. I take my shower and luckily, plenty of hot water. I come out in my towel to find Sam in bed reading a book on some occult something. I towel off and slip on my boxers. Sam is watching me intently. I'm fine with this.

I slide into bed with Sam for the first time since before he's been back from the Cage. (Not including the time I practically begged him for comfort after the vamp incident.) Nice thing is that Sam put his book down. Opened his arms and accepted me completely. I laid my head on his chest and he held me like it was second nature. He reached over with his long arm and turned off the lamp on the nightstand.

We laid there in the dark room with only a sliver of light peeking through the motel drapes. I reached up and touched Sammy's face and lips. Longing for a kiss. Soon his lips were on mine. I rolled over so I was on top, hovering over him. His hands started moving over my back. Raking his nails over my flesh as we kissed. My hard cock is pressed against his thigh and his against mine. We move and grind as we kiss. I can feel Sammy's heart beating right out of his chest. I'm kissing Sam's neck and nipping at his ear. I gasp and whisper, "The light. Turn it on." Sam does.

We both sit up in bed. I get to my knees. My boxers tented and stained with pre-cum. I quickly take them off. I don't care anymore. I wrap my arms around Sammy and kiss him. I kiss my way over his jaw to his ear. I whisper, "Let me touch you Sammy." I whisper it like a dirty secret. He takes my hand and moves it inside his boxers. He presses my hand to his already leaking cock and guides it in a stroking motion. I'm leaning over him. My head is resting on his shoulder. He gasps in my ear, "Dean. That's so good." He lets my hand go and reaches for my aching hard on. I'm sure he felt it jolt in his hand as he started stroking it. I've leaked so much from my excitement, Sam's able to easily glide his hand over my cock like it's pre-lubed.

I'm intently watching Sammy's face. The only reason the light's on is because it's easier to aim your cum and to watch Sammy's face when he climaxes. "Sammy. That it. Yes." Sam is jerking me off perfectly. I kiss Sam with heat and passion. He kisses me right back. My hand roaming his muscled chest while stroking his dick. Sam grunts in pleasure. He pushes me down on the bed. Our hands slip off, failing at their mission. "Sam?"

Sam jumps off the bed all of a sudden. "I wanna see you cum on yourself." My cock jumps at his words. "What?" "Yep! Oh and I got something." My voice changes an octave higher, "You got something?"

Sam pulls out a "fleshlight" and lube from his duffle bag. "You'll love this." The delight on Sammy's face was enough to make me wanna cum. "Okay. I've seen this in magazines and porn videos. You wanna do the honors Sammy?" Sam smiles, "Of course. Then you do me." "Of course." I wink. I know what Sam's thinking. This is giving each other a blow job without giving each other a blow job. Brilliant. Sure it's still filthy wrong, but whatever.

Sam preps the "fleshlight" and slides it over my cock. "Oh fuck! That's great!" Sam fucks me with the fucky thingy and I'm in bliss. However it sucks on my cock, I don't know. I just know it's working my dick better than any chick I've ever been with. I can't breathe. "DEAN!" Sam gets my attention. I open my hooded eyes and look at him. He keeps working my cock and moves over to kiss me. I run my fingers through his hair as we kiss. I pant with my mouth open. "I'm right there Sammy." "Keep looking at me Dean." Sam keeps thrusting on me and finally, "Oh yes! Now Sammy!" He removes the fucky thingy and strokes my cock with his hand toward my chest. I cum sending 12 separate spurts of white jizz all over my own chest and abs. I got some in my hair. I don't care, it was amazing and seeing Sam's expression was the best part. He strokes my cock till I stop him and he kisses me. It's a great kiss.

I give Sammy a heated look. "Your turn." I use my boxers to wipe clean really quick while Sam lays down. I put more lube in the fucky thingy. Sammy's face is beautiful. His eyes are more brilliant than I've ever seen before. I bend down and kiss him with my hand on his cheek. When I break the kiss, I kiss his cheeks, nose and eyes. He chuckles, "Quit it!" I hug him, "Oh hush. You know you like it." He wraps me in his arms. "I love you Dean." My heart melts. "I love you Sammy." I kiss him deeply. While kissing I start stroking him with my hand. He fists my hair and growls against my mouth. He starts sucking on my tongue. I'm starting to get hard again. Fuck! I break our kiss and watch Sam panting as I slide the fucky thingy onto his rigid cock. He arches his back in complete bliss as I start fucking him off. The suction of the fucky thingy and Sam's gasps are filling the room. "Dean! Yes! So good!" He grips my arm with one hand and the sheets with the other. His eyes stare me down. I keep going and the heat is building. My cock is hard as hell watching Sammy. "FASTER DEAN! FUCK ME FASTER!" "Jeez Sammy!" I move the fucky thingy as fast as I can as Sammy gets close to orgasm. Just to watch his reaction. I reach down and cup his balls while fucking him with the fucky thingy. His eyes get wider, his mouth opens and he cums. He thrusts his hips towards my hand holding the fucky thingy and I watch his face contort then relax as he cum inside the fucky thingy. "Nnnuuugh! FUCK!!" Sammy is left covered in sweat and panting as he watches me remove the fucky thingy from his still throbbing dick. I lean over him and kiss him madly. He kisses me just as passionately.

I sit up and smile at my Sammy as he wipes himself off on his boxers. "I'm going to go clean this and wash up. I'll be out in a few." Sam nods and picks his book up.

I take the fucky thingy to the shower with me. Sam got me so worked up, I actually jerk off again in the shower with it. I came quick. I clean it and set it aside then clean myself, but I can't get clean enough. My mind keeps going back to how wrong it is to touch my brother like that. I keep seeing images of when dad caught us once. All I did was kiss Sammy while in bed while I was 16 and he was 12. Dad caught me and threw me against the wall. Sam tried to stop him, but he was too little. He had no idea what dad was pissed about, but I did. I knew! I knew better! I got a whipping I never forgot. Or at least shouldn't have. Dad took me to the car and laid into me good. He said, "Dean, he's your brother! Your brother!! Protect him! Don't strip his innocence and make him into something that's dirty and wrong! Incest is wrong. Don't ever EVER let me catch you like that again or so help me you will be on your own. No son of mine will abuse his brother. You got me?!"

BANG! BANG! BANG! "DEAN! You gonna use up all the hot water?" ...

What do I say to Sammy? I've abused him again, haven't I.

Sam opens the bathroom door and finds me sitting in the tub holding my knees. The shower starting to run cold. "DEAN!" He turns the shower off. Grabs a towel and pulls me from the tub. He dries me off and I let him. I'm not even there. I'm still listening to dad's lecture on what a terrible brother I am.

I'm in a warm bed and being kissed on the forehead by Sammy before I snap out of it. I look at my little brother with "I'm sorry" written all over my face. Sam shakes his head, "No. You don't get to do this." I start to get up out of bed and Sam grabs me and holds me to him. "You don't get to do that either. Talk to me." I look away from him. "What do you want Sam? I know what I want." I turn and look at him with all the emotions in me stamped down as best as I can keep them. "I'd give anything for us to not be related. How about that?" I elbow him to get him to let me go and I crawl into the other bed.

Sam does nothing. He says nothing. He turns out the light and I hear sniffles. Fuck my life!

I turn on the light. I get up and get dressed. "What are you doing?" I ignore him. I have my jeans and t-shirt on. I have my boots on and grab my jacket when he slams me into the wall and kisses me.

I push him back and turn my head. "Sammy stop!" He lets go. Sam looks defeated and his eyes fill with tears. Fuck. Now he's crying. "SAM I SAID STOP!" He stops. Now he looks scared. He takes a step back looking at me like I'm a monster.

Oh God I am a monster! I cover my face and slide down the wall breaking down into tears.

Sam sits on the floor next to me and wraps his arms around me. Sam tries comforting me, "Did I ever tell you about the time Dad caught me in bed with a guy when I was 17?" I'm still looking down into my knees that are wrapped up by my arms. I shake my head no. "Dad told Robert to go home. He got dressed fast and left. Dad beat the shit out of me." I look at Sam not realizing this ever happened and wanting to see if he's in fact lying or not. Sam continues, "You were helping Bobby with a case. Dad punched and kicked me so much, I know I had broken ribs. He said he wouldn't have a fag for a son or a dirty monster that corrupts his brother. He said he thought you were corrupting me and all this time, I was corrupting you. You came back and thought I got hurt hunting a really horrible poltergeist. That poltergeist was John Winchester."

I grabbed hold of Sammy and he held me back. "It's ok Dean. We're not perfect, but we're all we got. We can't bring other people into our world because they die. It might be fucked up and wrong to the world, but I'd rather be with you and know you'll be okay, than have a woman beside me and know she'll be dead in less than a year." I pulled back and looked at Sam. He wiped my tears away. "You're right." I rest my head against his and ask, "Why do I feel like I've corrupted you in some way? Like I've taken something from you that should never have been touched?" "Our dad. He put it in your head that it's wrong and now it's ingrained. You may always have that feeling or you can chose to let it go. That's up to you." Sam tilts my head up and looks into my eyes. "I hope you chose to let it go and know that you've done nothing to corrupt or harm me. We haven't even fucked." "Jeez Sam!" "I'm just saying. I know this is serious and I'm okay with how things are. If all you ever do is let me hold you at night and kiss you, I'm a happy man. Just don't push me away for good. I need this. I need us, Dean. Okay?"

I nod and push myself up off the floor. I help pull gigantor off the floor so he can go take a warm shower. "You're not going anywhere are you?" I look at the clock. It's after midnight. Can't buy beer now. "No. Wait, are you hungry? How about a burger?" "Sounds good." "I'll be right back with food. Need anything else while I'm out?" "Just you. Be safe." "Will do, Bitch." "Jerk!"

 


	3. Taboo Love (Cas' POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> STORY 3: Cas' POV  
> Destiel...need I say more?

I have watched over Dean Winchester his entire life. I can't tell him this because he won't be able to understand why I wasn't able to prevent tragedies that happened in his life such as his parent's death and his trip to Hell. Believe me, I'd rather have prevented him from going to Hell then have to pull him out of it. All the events in his life, bad and good, are part of a divine plan.

Prior to pulling Dean from perdition, I would watch him and his family. The relationship Dean has with his little brother, Sam, is very codependent. One can't function unless the other knows he's okay. Even when Sam went to college, Dean would drop in and spy on his brother without Sam knowing it. Sam would call Dean regularly, but never called his dad. Sam regrets that now and wishes they spent more time together.

I've learned so much from watching Dean and his family. I never hoped that they would one day consider me as part of their family. Especially after some of the foolish things I've done. Like thinking I was better than God. I should have been punished like Lucifer, but Chuck was forgiving. I did spend a lot of time in Purgatory. I think I was honestly hoping something would get the better of me so I could just die, but for whatever reason Chuck just keeps bringing me back. I suppose I'm grateful.

Dean is gracious toward me. Way more forgiving toward me than I deserve. That's the Winchester way. Always quick to forgive and forget.

I know I shouldn't do it, but I have ghosted around Dean and listened in on private conversations. I've watched Dean and Sam fight and argue for hours. The most interesting times to watch the brothers are when they are being intimate. I stand and watch from the corner of the room, completely unseen, as the brothers come together in a touching moment.

It usually begins with some sort of intense situation that the brothers escaped. Dean checks his brother over for injury and then Sam checks Dean. As Dean bandages his brother, you can see the love on his face. Sure, it's all business, but Dean will touch Sam's face if he hurts him while stitching up a cut. Sam rubs Dean's back after wrapping up his shoulder in a bandage. They get ready for bed and Sam will stand at Dean's bed. Dean opens his covers and arms to his little brother who quickly lays next to Dean. Sam holds Dean and Dean kisses Sam's forehead. They always rest better like this. Dean plays with Sam's hair till they both pass out.

I have observed the brothers being sexually active together. It's not common and it usually follows a stressful event. I've even witnessed them share a woman. They haven't done that in years.

What I'm curious about right now is if I ask Dean to kiss me, would he? We've known each other so long now. If I do this, will Dean end up rejecting me? Will he tell me to go away and never come back? Maybe I should just kiss him and see what happens?

I wait until Dean is alone at the bunker. Sam is off picking up supplies. Dean is in the library reading something. I appear, "Hello Dean." Dean looks up from his book, "Hey Cas. What's up?" "Nothing new. How are you?" Dean seems confused, "I'm fine. What's going on Cas?" I walk around the table and stop in front of Dean. "Please stand up." Dean stands up and still seems confused. I grab hold of his flannel shirt and kiss him. It's quick and awkward. Dean gives me a grouchy look, "What the hell Cas?" "I want to know what it's like to kiss you Dean. More than that." I look at his hand that he's got up in front of me. "I want to know what it feels like to be loved by you." "Cas, You know I like girls." I nod and then I take his hand in mine. He lets me take it. "Dean, I just want..." Suddenly Dean kisses me. He places his other hand on my jaw and gives me a real deep kiss. When we stop, I'm still feeling a little bit of euphoria. Dean has a devilish smile. I reach up and touch his cheek. He pulls me into his arms and I can feel his hands move over my back and neck. I can feel his heart beating hard against his chest. So hard it's reverberating against my own. He kisses my neck and whispers in his deep voice, "I'm loving you right now Cas. I'll always love you. Never doubt that."

I just want this moment to last forever. For the first time in my existence I find it hard to think or function. Is this what it means to be in love? Am I in love with Dean?

We hold each other like this for several minutes. He runs his hands through my hair. I can't help but moan at his touch. I am eventually able to find my words. "Dean, I've never had these feelings before. I'm not suppose to have them." "Didn't God create you to love him and then once he created us, he instructed you to love us as you do him?" I lift my head from Dean's shoulder and look into his eyes. Our arms are still around each other. "What I'm feeling right now isn't the same. It's way more intense. Being away from you makes me feel sorrow. Seeing you get close like this with someone else makes me jealous and envious of the one you're close to. If I see someone hurt you, I want to smite them for daring to come against you. Seeing you hurt makes me anxious and very distressed. When we have our differences and you shun me, it's like you're stabbing me in the heart with a spear. I never want to disappoint or hurt you. Just the opposite. I think you have made me a better being. Is this being in love? Am I in love with you Dean?" I'm sure I have a look of puzzlement on my face. The look on Dean's face is also one I didn't expect. He's thinking things through. He removes his arms from around me and I feel the absence profoundly.

Dean takes my hand in his. It's warm. "I think I've known for a while now." He squeezes my hand and I so want to use my powers to read his thoughts, but I'd never do that to him. I'm impatient and very petulant at times. I take a deep breath and try to relax while Dean collects his thoughts. "I'm right where you are Cas. Thinking back on what we've been through together. What you mean to me. How I feel when you're not here. How absolutely helpless I feel when you're injured or powerless. It's never because you're no help to me and Sam when you're wounded. It's a helplessness I feel that I can't do anything to make you better. There's no one I can call. There's no medicine I can give you. All I can do is stand there and watch you die. Also, a love like this is forbidden, right?" Dean points to himself then to me. "Human and angel. You yourself called it an abomination." I look at were our hands are still clasped together. "Dean. You're right." I look up into Dean's eyes. "I just don't care."

Dean suddenly has my face in his hands and he's kissing me. I'm pushed up against the table. He lifts me so I'm sitting on the table and my legs are wrapped around him. My fingers in his hair and over his back. His hands move from my hips to inside my suit jacket. His tongue presses it's way into my mouth. The sensation of our tongues moving over each other is incredible. His soft lips move perfectly against mine. He's thrusting his hips against mine and that has me gasping.

Dean stops kissing me and grabs my hand pulling me from the table. He leads me to his bedroom. Once inside he takes off my trench coat and sets it in a chair. He looks me over then kisses me softly. "I'm going to undress you. Okay?" I'm fascinated by Dean's behavior. "Okay, but wouldn't it be faster if I did it?" Dean presses his forehead to mine, "Let me love you." I didn't understand how undressing me was loving me, but I calmly acquiesced to his wishes. He slipped my suit jacket off and kissed my neck as the jacket fell from my shoulders. He then loosened my tie and used it to pull me toward his lips for a deep kiss. While kissing me, he slips off my tie and backs me against the bed forcing me to sit down. He then kneels in front of me and removes my shoes and socks. His green eyes are so intense as he looks at me. I touch his cheek and he kisses my palm. Something about that one act that I'll never forget. He purposefully rubs his hand over my erection. I gasp and grip at the covers on his bed. He has a delightful grin and chuckles. "Am I amusing you?" Dean kisses me again. "I'm just pleased that I'm able to make you to feel this way. You need to relax and don't over analyze. Just enjoy the moment." Dean untucks my shirt and unbuttons it. I decide to follow his instruction. He knows I'm not human, but I do want to experience this as if I were. Dean runs his hands over my chest and I shiver from his touch. He removes my shirt and adds it to my pile of clothing. Dean kisses my neck, collarbone and chest. He reaches down and rubs at my erection that's trying to poke it's way through my slacks. I place my hand on his shoulder and moan slightly with pleasure. Dean removes my belt then removes my slacks and boxers. I'm completely naked. He looks me over and then kisses me. "You're beautiful. I know this is only a vessel, but your vessel is beautiful, just like you." My first response would be to ask him why he is saying this to me. He doesn't normally talk this way to me. Then I remember that I'm suppose to just relax and enjoy the moment. Still on his knees, he kisses me. I lean into his kiss almost joining him on the floor. He kisses my cheek and neck, pushing me back.

Dean then stands up. "Go ahead and move up on the bed." I do. He takes his boots and socks off. I'm now watching Dean take his clothes off. He's looking into my eyes the whole time too. His athletic physique is remarkable. He also has an erection. I note a few scars he has from hunting. I think he would look nicer with some facial hair. I should bring it up sometime later.

Dean crawls onto the bed, "What are you thinking about?" "Do you honestly want to know?" Dean rolls his eyes, "I asked. Yes, I want to know." I reach up and touch the stubble on his chin. "You'd look really nice with a goatee." Dean's eyebrows shoot up. "You asked." He nods and smiles. I love his smile. "You're beautiful Dean. Inside and out. I love you."

Dean starts kissing me. His tongue playing with mine. His hands go from my face to my chest. My hands stay around his body. I want to pull him as close to me as I can. I relent and give Dean full control. He kisses down my neck to my chest. He stops at my left nipple to lick, suck and nip at it. The sensation is exhilarating. He does the same to the right side. My fingers run over his hair as I moan his name. He takes my rigid erection into his hand and starts stroking it. I gasp, "Dean." He watches my reaction with a smile. He suddenly kisses me hard while stroking me. I reach down and stroke him. He gasps into my mouth at my touch. He pulls away and kisses me down to my harden length. "Cas, before you climax, tap my shoulder. Don't do it in my mouth." "Why would I-I-I-I....." Just then Dean puts my erection into his mouth and starts sucking it. No one has ever done that. I'm gripping the bedding as I'm watching Dean give me the most pleasurable moment ever. He's moving his head up and down. He licks at it. I'm moaning and grunting. I run my hand over his head and neck. He moans and it feels great! He reaches up and pinches my nipple. That has me at the edge. Dean swallows me and I tap his shoulder with my back arched. It hits me from the top of my head to the base of my spine. Dean's stroking me and all I see is a white light for a brief moment. I then see my Dean. He's beside me, kissing me. "I love you Cas."

I use my powers to clean up the mess before rolling over on top of Dean. I kiss him and return every loving touch he gave me. I kiss him in places I know he's never been kissed before. I play with his nipples and he's very hard now. "Sit on the edge of the bed. Let me kneel here." He does as I ask and I kneel between his legs. "Cas, You don't have to do this." "Dean, I want to. I love you." I kiss him and every kiss is as perfect as the first. Before our kiss is over, I start stroking him. He gasps into my mouth. I bend down and take him into my mouth.

Dean moans at first. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I wasn't expecting the saltiness of what little bit leaks out. I wasn't expecting that my jaw would start to become sore. The most important thing I didn't expect was the pleasure I'd get from watching Dean make love to me. That's what he was doing. I continue to give him the best oral pleasure that I can. He has a look on his face of trust and love. I also see that it's way deeper. Yes, the physical aspect alone is overwhelming, but it's only being shared between us. This time is only mine and Dean's. Dean gently grips my hair as I continue to lick and suck. I attempt to swallow him deep into the back of my throat. "OH GOD YES!" He startled me, but I'm able to clearly see I must be doing something right. I really wish he wouldn't invoke my dad's name right now. Awkward. Dean's eyes are a deep emerald green. I've never seen them this color before. I repeat the same swallowing move and Dean growls deep while gripping at the covers. Interesting. Again. "Fuck yes! Oh Cas!" He's panting and starting to sweat. I move my head up and down then pinch his nipple. "Cas!" He taps my shoulder. I back off and use my hand to bring him to orgasm. He never took his eyes off me as he reached his climax. It left me feeling different than I did when we started.

I push him back on the bed, lay on top of him and kiss him. I kiss him like he's air and I can't breathe. His hands move over my back leaving me gasping. I bury my face in his neck and take pleasure in his hands on my bare back. "You like this Cas?" "Very much so. You're not aware, but you're touching my wings." Dean lifts his hands, "Really? Where?" I lift my head and look at my lover who seems concerned that he was touching something he can't see. "Don't worry about it. You know I have them." "Well, yeah, but I thought they were..." I'm confused as he is. "You thought they were fake? Come and go? What?" Dean is still confused, "So, they are always there, but humans can't see them?" "Unless we want them to." Dean's face lights back up, "Oh. Okay." He looks at our chests and abs. "Ah Cas, You do know we got my jizz all over us?" I kiss Dean and by the time our kiss is done the mess is gone. "Awesome!" I bury my head in his neck once more in the hopes that he will rub my back some more. "If you want a back rub, all you have to do is ask." My face is still buried, "Back rub please." Dean laughs and I love it, but not as much as that back rub. I moan in absolute pleasure. "You're hard. I can feel it." "Yes." "You're wings?" "Yes Dean. My wings." Dean sighs, "Will you at least let me see?" He asked for it. The room fills up with my black 20 foot wingspan. "Jeez Cas! They're huge!" "Yes. Please keep rubbing." He rubs my back and my wings droop to the floor. He's rubbing underfeathers he had no idea he was rubbing at before. I kiss his neck and snuggle close as he continues. I sigh and whisper, "You can keep me. If you want. I won't complain." "You're mine. Don't even think of flying away."

I sit up and fold my wings back. I snap my fingers and we are both dressed, Dean's bed is made and he's standing in front of me giving me his infamous "What the hell" look. "Sam's back. He's going to be knocking on your door soon." "Oh." Dean grabs hold of me and kisses me. I kiss him back. I'm guessing there will be a lot of this now. I pull back and touch his lips to heal them from being so swollen. "Dean, are you going to tell Sam about us?" "We can't tell anyone Cas. We discussed this." I nod and hug him, "Just checking." I pull back and he's looking at me funny. "What is it?" He says nothing, but then I remember he can see my wings. I wave my hand over his eyes and he can't see them anymore. "Damn it!" I laugh. KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.  
"Hey Sammy!"


	4. Taboo Love (Lucifer's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Story 4: Lucifer's POV - WARNING THIS IS VERY VIOLENT TOWARD THE END!! Lucifer has Sam's soul and takes it places outside the cage in his mind. Sam gets to have sex with Jessica. Sam defies the devil afterward and pays dearly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: VIOLENT. EXPLICITE SEX SCENE. 
> 
> I do end up getting twisted and dark, but this is Lucifer. He tries to function on Sam's level for a while, but that doesn't work out.

Sam is so afraid right now. Cas just came into the Cage and took his body, but I still have his soul. Even though Sam doesn't have a body, his soul will still act as if it's corporeal. In other words, Sam's soul will not know the difference while he's in this Cage.

Practicing with my powers in the Cage is the reason Sam's soul will feel as if he still has a body. After being in this Cage alone for centuries on end, I have learned a few things. For one, I'm able to project my mind away from this dark cold jail. I can go anywhere, be anyone and do anything I want. I'll be able to do this with Sam as well.

I don't want Sam to be afraid. I want him to trust me and feel like he's being loved and cared for. If he's comfortable around me, he will share more of his secrets with me willingly. I'm all about collecting someone's deepest darkest thoughts. Their fears, fantasies, tragedies and weaknesses. I've got nothing but time.

Sam's curled up in a corner expecting me to attack him again for landing us in this lovely home of ours. Michael and Adam are keeping to themselves. Good thing they are. This Cage is too small for us to be fighting in. The truce was a mutual conclusion.

Time to help Sam understand how things can be in our new home. I sit on the floor of the Cage next to him. He flinches at my touch. "It's okay Sam, I won't hurt you any more. I was very angry and, as you know, I have anger control issues. There's no sense in staying angry at you. I'd just really like it if we could be friends. We'll be in here together for a long time."

Sam looks at me with fear and sorrow. I know that look all too well. It's how I felt when I was first locked in here. He asks, "Is it possible for me to die in here?"

If I had a heart, it would be breaking for him. I don't have a soul, nor do I care about his self hate. "No sam. You can't ever die in here. You can't starve, but you will feel hunger. You can't dehydrate, but you will feel thirsty. It's Hell for a reason. You don't have to be alone in Hell though. That's up to you. Let me show you something." I reach up and touch his forehead.

Instantly Sam and I are on a warm sunny beach. Sparse clouds overhead. The waves are rolling in. Seagulls are in the distance. We're wearing swim shorts. As we walk along the sandy beach, I can feel the sand between my toes.

Sam stops and kneels down. He pushes his hand into the sand and actually smiles. "How?" He looks at me. "We're not able to leave the Cage, right?"

"No Sam. We're not able to leave the Cage. This..." I wave toward the beach scene surrounding us, "is all in our mind. I'm sharing this mental escape with you. Do you like it?"

Sam still has his dimples showing as he gets up and runs into the surf. "I've never been to a beach before. Is this what it's really like?"

I run in after him. "Yes. This is how I remember my favorite beach. White sand and perfect waves." The water is warm and inviting.

Sam runs into the water enough to let a wave hit him and cover him completely. He laughs at the sensation. I laugh at his reaction. He's like a child. He pulls his wet hair back from his face and smiles at me. I turn away. Sam's getting to me.

I walk back toward the shore and place a couple of women sunbathing on beach towels there. I approach one and she welcomes me with open arms. I lay next to her and she starts kissing my neck while I watch Sam. He's walking toward me with a look of curiosity on his face.

A woman shouts out to Sam, "Hey Sam! Over here!"

Sam stops in his tracks. He swallows hard and looks at the woman who gets up and jogs toward him in her pretty pink bikini. "Jess? It can't be you."

She smiles at him, "Of course it can." She reaches up on her tip toes and pulls Sam's face toward her for a very real kiss. One that Sam suddenly embraces once his memory of how she feels, smells and tastes finally kicks in. He kisses her with all he's got.

"I've missed you Jess. God how I've missed you." He kisses her again.

She takes his hand and leads him to a private bungalow on the beach. She stands in front of him and drops her bikini top. "I need you Sam. I've missed you so much."

He kisses her while embracing her. His hands roam from her hair to her back. He kisses down her neck and collarbone to her beautiful breasts. First suckling one nipple then the other. His large hand holding the other and rubbing at the nipple. He picks her up and lays her in the bed. Kisses her from her lips, neck, chest, navel and right over her already wet bikini. He slips her bikini off and spreads her legs. Using is fingers he opens her up so he can taste her. She grips his hair with one hand, arches her back and moans his name as he licks her swollen clit. He licks and sucks on her. He slides his long index finger inside her. He pistons his finger while letting his tongue bring her to orgasm. Afterward, he licks her up then licks his finger.

She's greedy for more. She sits up and pulls his shorts off releasing his very hard cock. He moans as she touches him. She takes him into her mouth and he holds his breath as she swallows his entire length. She pulls back and he gasps, "Fuck! I forgot you could do that." She giggles and does it again.

"Okay! Okay! Stop! Or I'll cum and we won't get to do the best part."

His shy grin and blush on his cheeks has her wanting him even more. She lays back on the bed, "I'm all yours Sam."

(I keep an eye on Sam while doing my own thing. As I said before, this is all going on using my mind.)

Sam covers her with his body. He kisses her letting her tongue explore his mouth as he slides his cock deep inside her. She moans into his mouth and grips his ass. He places her legs over his broad shoulders and begins thrusting his hips in a steady rhythm.

He can't believe he's making love to his Jess. He kisses her as he quickens his pace. She grips his back and tightens her inner walls around his cock. He grunts with pleasure.

Jess is breathless and can't take her eyes off Sam. His hair surrounding his gorgeous face. His eyes bright and alive. "I love you Sam." She finds her release and it's amazing. Her whole body vibrates with pleasure.

That's all it takes for Sam. He feels her climax and her walls clinch and release around his throbbing cock. He thrusts just a few quick times before finding his moment of bliss in Jess' arms.

She grips Sam so tightly to her chest as he collapses around her. She kisses his shoulder, neck and cheek.

He just lays there with his face buried in her hair trying not to cry.

Reality hits him hard that she's not real. That this is all a fantasy that I created for my own pleasure.

Sam lifts himself off Jess and looks at her naked form. "I've missed you so much Jessica. You've been on my mind so often. I'll never forget you."

"I love you Sam. I always will."

She disappears. The bungalow disappears and Sam is standing on the beach in his swim shorts.

Sam walks toward me and sees me on a beach towel with Marilyn Monroe. She and I just finished fucking and she's kissing on me. We're both still naked. Sam looks away. Sweet boy.

"Why did you send Jess to me like that?"

He's a bit angry. That's okay I guess. "You know you enjoyed the time you had with her so don't bitch about it." I look at Sam and he straightens up. Hey look, he can be taught! Humans.

I look at the beauty by my side, "Gotta go sweetheart." I kiss Marilyn and I change the scene.

We are in a place Sam would never recognize. It's like being underwater, but not. Humans can't breath the air here. The sky is pale pink with shades of lavender. The ground is made of a soft spongy plant like material that's redish-orange. There are coral looking vegetation everywhere. Nothing on Earth compares.

Some sprite like creatures fly past us very quickly. They glow like fairies, but when you look up close they are nothing like a fairy. They're about 6 inches tall and brilliant blue in color.

In the distance a giant beast is grazing on the vegetation. It has appendages like a bear, no fur, can stand on two legs, but walks on all four. Looks to weigh about as much as 2 elephants. The face of this beast is different. Huge eyes, small mouth that can expand, no nose and no ears. At least the nose and ears aren't visible.

Creatures here can do amazing things. A giant bird-like creature flies/swims overhead. It has a long whip for a tail. Soon a school of these flying creatures go by overhead.

Sam grabs my attention. "Where the fuck are we?"

I laugh. "We are on a planet in a solar system of a galaxy far away from the Milky Way galaxy and your solar system which has the planet Earth. In other words, we are a fuck load light years from your home Sam. Isn't it great! You're a pioneer!" I Pat his back.

Sam hyperventilates on air that he's not really breathing. "You're lying."

"No I'm not. This is what this planet really looks like. True, we are still in our Cage in Hell. So calm down. However, I have been here before when my father was creating Earth." I glance at Sam's surprised look. "What? You thought humans were the only sentient beings Father made? Why do you think I got so pissed when he told the angels to worship the humans as we worship him? Why not worship them?" I point to the humanoid figure in the distance. I've piqued Sam's curiosity.

Sam walks toward the being cautiously like he's hunting a monster on Earth. I even allow him some indulgence. "If you were hunting this creature, what weapons would you bring just in case?"

Sam stops and thinks. "I shouldn't bring any. I'm not at home. This is their home I'm invading. If I'm a threat, they will kill me rather than try and reason. If I'm no threat, maybe they will attempt contact."

He looks at me as if to ask me if he got the answer right to my question. "Well, go see if it will try to communicate with you. If that's really what you want. Or we can just enjoy our time here peacefully, then leave and they'll never know we were ever here."

Sam wants to see these beings up close so badly. He decides to leave them alone. "Let's just go. We will both be better off not meeting."

"You're smarter than you look Samwise."

"Don't call me that."

I grin, "Not a LOTR fan?"

He huffs, "I've read the books which are better than the movies. I still don't like being called anything other than my name. Sam."

I raise my hands in surrender, "Sam it is, Your Highness."

He turns his attention back to the being that has its attention turned toward us. The being is tall and slender. It's skin appears to be luminescent yellow. Like a glowing fire. It walks on two legs, but looks more like it's gliding. I raise my hand and make Sam and myself invisible. The being suddenly looks startled and starts looking everywhere for where we went. I take Sam's hand in mine and he comes along willingly. "Sam, you must understand that humans are not as grand as they and my father make them out to be." I bend over and pick up a creature. "For instance, this little guy here. He's no bigger than a house cat. He walks on all fours and has scales. His eyes are large and he has six of them. His mouth is small, but he only uses it for eating. He has hands like a human, but the fingers are long and thin. He has poisonous claws that are retractable."

"Now, here's the important part Sam. The real reason I brought you here. That tall being wasn't what dominates this planet. It's just another creature like a bear on Earth." I hold up the tranquilized being in my hand toward Sam. "This is the human equivalent on this planet. They live in the ground in massive dwellings. They have amenities and luxuries that they enjoy. They have a government, religion, leaders, teachers and everything humans have. They communicate with their minds through telepathy and through touch."

Sam reaches out and touches the creature. It's scales are cold. They are metallic-like and reflect multiple colors in the light. "Let it go." He looks at me with sad eyes.

I use my powers to return him to his dwelling. "There. He's home safe. My question is what makes you so much more important than that guy?"

Sam says nothing.

I'm starting to get a bit angry. Either he doesn't have an opinion or doesn't care. Maybe he's still pissed because I brought Jessica around. You'd think he'd show more gratitude. "What do you think of this planet?"

Sam can see my anger rising. He replies, "It's beautiful. Of course I had no idea something like this exists. If you're expecting me to agree that these creatures could or should be more important than humans, I can't say that. Only God can. From what I understand humans were created in God's image. These creatures don't seem to be."

"That's what it comes down to huh?" I touch Sam on the shoulder and we're back in the Cage. "Father made humans to look like himself and therefore we are all suppose to just bow down to them as we would our father."

I grab Sam by his throat and press him into the bars of the Cage. "I will never submit to you. YOU WILL submit to me though. You will wish you were never born."

Sam can't talk because I'm choking him. His face is red with blood vessels popping in his eyes. He can't die here. Sam mouths to me, "Too late." In response to me telling him he'll wish he were never born.

He passes out from my strangling him. I use my mind to put us in a torture chamber. I strap Sam's naked body to a wooden table in the center of the room. He opens his eyes and sees where he is. "Sam. Nice of you to be here. I'm going to create a piece of art. You're the canvas. I'm going to title the piece "Fuck You Dad". All I need you to do is bleed and maybe scream if the moment feels right."

I use a rusty blade to carve "FUCK YOU" on Sam's chest and abs. He grits his teeth through out, but doesn't cry out. I pick up a bag of salt and pour it on the wounds. Sam gasps in pain and curses, "Shit."

I cut his cheek and the warm blood flows down the side of his face. I grab his hair at the top of his hair line to keep him from moving. His eyes dilate in fear and something else. I see inside his mind and he has memories of a sexual encounter like this. I look over his body on my table and he's got an erection. Unbelievable. I lift his head up by his hair and slam it back into the table. He groans.

I ask, "You like this?"

He replies, "No sir."

Oh fuck. "Somebody's been playing some serious S and M games other than me." I pick up a straight razor and run the back of it over the length of Sam's dick. He stays perfectly still. "Maybe I should just cut it off." Sam's eyes are huge and he's trembling with fear. Instead, I set the blade down and start stroking his erection. I watch his reaction. He closes his eyes and I'm sure his mind wanders elsewhere. I Jerk him and watch as he grips the sides of the table with his hands. His head goes to the side as his body tenses and cum erupts from his dick. He grunts his pleasure as he finds release.

I hold his rigid member in my hand and slice it off with the blade in my other hand. Blood gushes everywhere. Sam is screaming in pain and shock. With each beat of his heart, blood gushes from where his penis once was. He's on the verge of passing out. I shove his severed dick in his mouth. He tries to resist, but is too weak. I smeared the blood and cum away from the carving on his chest and abs. The message can't be obscured.

I take the picture of my masterpiece. My "Fuck You Dad" piece of art.

Once I have the photo, I touch Sam and we return to the Cage as we are. Whole and going no where fast.

"Well Sam, what do you want to do now?" I smile and Sam is curled up in a ball, trying to get as far from me as he can. "I know! Parcheesi!"


	5. Taboo Love (My POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Story Five - told from my POV: I tell it as if I'm there. I sneak into Jared's trailer on the Supernatural studio lot. I'm checking things out when I hear someone come in. I hide in the bedroom closet. You won't believe what I witness from that very closet! Let's just say the J2 rumors are true!!

I'm a very lucky fan. I won a trip to Vancouver to tour the set of Supernatural!

Me and 4 others are escorted through the set to see everything! We watch a scene being filmed in the war room of the bunker. Another scene gets filmed in Baby.

I sneak away from the crowd and start touring the lot on my own. I see the trailers for the actors and try knocking on doors. No answers. An assistant holding a clipboard walks into a trailer saying something to someone and leaves.

After searching, I find Jared's trailer. It's unlocked. I go inside and nobody's in here. I walk around and it's nice. Leather sofa, giant TV with video library, wet bar complete with premium liquor and a bedroom.

I wander toward the bedroom. Jared sleeps here! Omg! I pick up a pillow and smell it. Mmmm. Suddenly I hear voices. I see a closet and duck inside. I hide under a blanket that's been carelessly tossed inside there.

Two men enter the trailer. I can make out their voices easily. It's Jared and Jensen. They shut the trailer door and it's quiet for a moment.

Jensen speaks, "You need to relax. I know the scene is tense, but you can handle it."

Jared replies, "I know."

There's footsteps heading toward the bedroom.

Jensen speaks in a soft voice, "Come here. Let me help you relax."

(I can see through a gap in the closet door. I'm in shock at what I'm witnessing.)

Jensen lays down on the bed only wearing boxer briefs. From the looks of it, Jensen is very happy to be in Jared's bed.

Jared crawls onto the bed completely naked. He's on all fours like a predator stalking Jensen. His huge cock hanging low between his thighs. Jared's hair all around his face as he hunts Jensen.

Jensen runs his hand over the large bulge in his underwear. "Come and get it Jay. You know you need it. I sure as fuck do."

Jared buries his face against Jensen's crotch. Jensen lifts his hips in response and moans a small bit. Jared kisses his way up Jensen's stomach and chest. He kisses his neck and sucks on his earlobe.

Jensen grips Jared's hair and grinds his hips against Jared's. Jensen pleads with Jared, "I need you inside me."

Jared kisses Jensen with tongues exploring and fisting of hair.

(I can't help it. I'm watching Jared and Jensen make love! Fuck! I slide my hand into my pants and under my panties. I'm so wet! I start rubbing my swollen clit while watching the guys fuck.)

Jared takes Jensen's underwear off and starts sucking on his long cock. Jensen grips Jared's hair as he bobs his head up and down on his very hard dick. Jared has Jensen prepped to take Jared's huge cock.

Jensen gets up and stands on the bed. He hands Jared a bottle of lube. Jared is on his knees. Jared sucks Jensen a little bit more while he lubes his own cock and fingers Jensen's ass. Jensen finally straddles Jared and impales himself on Jared's very hard cock.

Both men groan with pleasure. Jensen has his arms around Jared's neck as he bounces up and down on Jared's lap.

(I'm working my clit in time with their thrusts. I want so badly to be Jensen right now! I slide a finger inside my needy pussy and fuck myself as quietly as I can. My gasps and quiet grunts are buried into the blanket I'm biting into.)

Jared grips Jensen's ass works it hard and fast. Jared pistons his hips up into Jensen's tight ass again and again.

Without warning, Jensen cums on Jared's chest and his own abs. He does this without any one touching his dick. "Oh yes. I love you so much Jay."

Jensen keeps riding Jared. He's kissing him and holding his face.

Jared's face changes expression, "Fuck Jen. I'm gonna cum."

Jensen climbs off Jared. He presses one hand on Jared's chest, right over his heart. He kisses him and starts jerking him off.

Jared is still kneeling. He's leaning back on his heels and his fists are buried in the covers behind him. His large erection is jutting up high as Jensen strokes it fast.

"Cum for me Jay. Let me see you shatter into pieces just for me."

(At that I climax. I cum so hard. My pussy walls clinching on my finger as I fucked myself and my clit throbbing from my amazing release. I was as quiet as possible and watched Jared cum at the same time I did. Fuck!)

Jared looks into Jensen's green eyes as he cums. His abs clinch and his breathing is choppy. Jensen strokes Jared through it as Jared shoots 6 or 7 loads of cum from his very veiny and worked over cock. You can see that Jensen enjoys feeling Jared's heart rate change. He keeps his hand on Jared's chest. "Oh shit Jen! So good!" Jared finally comes down from his high and grips Jensen for a heated kiss.

Jared finally sits up and reaches for a nearby towel. He cleans up quickly. He lays down in the bed on his side. Jensen curls up in front of him. They cuddle like this.

"Jen, I think I'll be able to handle the scene better now. Thank you." He kisses Jensen's shoulder.

"I know you can. I love you and believe in you. Get some sleep." Jensen grips Jared's hand tight as they fall asleep together.

I'm stuck here till they leave. I wait in that closet for two and a half hours before there's a knock on the door. "MR. PADALECKI! YOU'RE NEEDED ON SET IN 15 MINUTES!!"

Jared grumbles, "YEAH. OKAY!!"

Jensen wakes up, "Shut up. Sleeping."

"Not anymore. We need to head to makeup and hair before we go on set. Get up!" Jared pushes Jensen. "I'll get you a coffee if you move your ass."

Jared is already up and buttoning his shirt.

Jensen gets up and hurriedly gets dressed. He uses some of the deodorant on Jared's dresser. Jared uses it right after. They are ready and out the door in 5 minutes from the time of the door knock.

I wait 5 minutes before coming out of my hiding spot. While waiting I thought about taking the small hand towel they used to clean up their cum. No. That's too...Beckyish. its bad enough I masturbated to them fucking. It hits me, JARED AND JENSEN ARE SECRET LOVERS FOR REAL!

I come out of my hiding spot and use their toilet. Man I had to pee! I come out of the toilet and a man is standing there. "Who are you?" 

"I'm one of the contest winners. I needed a bathroom while I was touring. This trailer was unlocked and I used the toilet. That's all." I look as innocent as I can.

He just shakes his head. "Your tour is now visiting the special effects building. I'll take you there." We leave the trailer and he takes me to my group. "Please don't wander off again."

"I won't. Promise." I think to myself about how empty that promise might be as I smile politely and return to the group.


	6. Taboo Love (Crowley's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Story 6 - Told from Crowley's POV:  
> 2017 and Dean Winchester remembers what it felt like to have 12 inches deep inside him. Crowley traded his soul when he was human for a bigger dick. Dean wants that dick again. Yes, while Dean was a demon he had Crowley and it was AWESOME! Enjoy this story from Crowley's perspective on how Dean talks him into giving up the D yet again for Dean.

Taboo Love:  
Crowley's POV

My phone rings. Ah, Squirrel. Maybe there's some adventure to be had.

"Squirrel. What do you boys want now? Half of my kingdom? Mother already asked. I'll tell you what I told her. BUGGER OFF!"

"CROWLEY! Crowley! Hey! No. I just wanted to talk, but not like this."

My curiosity is piqued. "Alright. Where?"

"Rest Inn Motel. Osborne, Kansas. Room 105."

I'm able to close my eyes and hone right in. In a second I appear right in front of Dean Winchester. He doesn't even flinch. Seems he's gotten use to me and other beings just popping in on him.

Dean puts his phone away. He reaches for a bottle of whiskey and pours 2 rock glasses half way up and hands a glass to me after setting the bottle down. He picks up the other glass for himself. "I found this delightful gem hidden in a drawer of one of the dressers in the bunker." Dean sips it. "Smooth as silk and tastes like heaven." He looks my way. "Enjoy it Crowley. As soon as this touched my lips, I had you in mind."

My eyebrows go up at the thought of Dean even considering me in any of his thoughts at all for anything. I lift the glass. "Cheers." I smell it. Nice! Take a sip. Oh my! "You did find a treasure. This has to be at least 50 years old if not older." I take a good drink and let the warmth of the smooth tasting liquid enthrall me for a brief moment.

Dean explains. "Have a seat and relax. This is a social call." He sits on the bed and invites me to sit on the opposite bed.

"What are you playing at Dean? Is there a trap? Is Sam going to suddenly appears with demon cuffs?" I look around for devil's traps and weapons.

Dean gets up and stands right in front of me. He takes my glass and sets it on the table. "You remember what it was like between us when I had the Mark and was a demon?" He's looking at me in a very all too familiar way.

"Yes. I remember." How could I forget. My long coat is hiding my growing arousal as Dean continues to recollect our adventures.

"You showed me things I never knew about myself." Dean is pressing his body against mine. He smells like whiskey, gun oil, some sweat, aftershave and his own unique musk that I sometimes wish I could bottle and keep as air freshener in Hell.

Dean places his hand on my cheek and pulls me toward him so he can whisper in my ear. Chills are crawling all over me at his touch. I'm horny as fuck and eager for this to go further. Dean whispers in his deep voice, "I can give you a dose of my blood and then a dose of me. What do you say? You wanna piece of me as much as I think you do?"

I gasp out loud at his offer. He pulls away from me and looks at me straight in the eyes. His eyes are still green as ever. He's got that devilish grin I love. I tease, "Playful Dean wants to fuck. Your blood for my 12 inches in your ass?"

Dean's cheeks are rosy red. "Come on Crowley! Don't be a cock tease! It's either yes or no!" I look at Dean's bulge and he's clearly uncomfortably hard. He rubs his hand over his erection.

I take my coat off and Dean sees this as a "yes". He slowly takes his shirt off and I admire his physique. I know my body is nowhere near as beautiful as his, but I am strong.

Dean approaches me before I can remove my trousers. We're standing face to face without shirts. Dean removes a syringe from the nightstand and is able to draw a vial of his blood.

He grips my neck and kisses me. The kiss is completely Dean. So wickedly delicious. And there it is! A sharp sting in my neck while we're kissing. "Yes! Oh I missed this!" The rush of human blood in my demon body.

Dean removes the needle from my neck, drops it on the nightstand and then starts rubbing my lengthening hardness over my trousers. His lips and tongue move from my lips to my jaw and collarbone.

I push him onto the bed. He falls onto it with a bounce. "Take your clothes off Squirrel. I want your ass."

Dean smiles up at me. "Where have I heard that before?"

I shake my head as I remove the remainder of my clothing. "Just do as you're told." I grab the glass of whiskey and down it. I pick up the bottle and fill both glasses before setting the bottle down again. When I set it down I see the bottle of lube. I grab it and look at Dean.

He's on the bed, legs apart and stroking his thick 9 inch pecker. His blood has me a bit tipsy. I crawl onto the bed and surprise him by pushing his legs back toward the headboard exposing his nice pink pucker. I lower my head and devour it.

My tongue licks and presses all around and right at the entrance of Dean's hole. I only did this once with him while he was a demon. His response right now is more intense than before. "Fuck Crowley! S'awesome. Unghh, damn...I need you in me." I'm able to slide 2 lubed fingers inside him easily. I work in 3 fingers and Dean is gripping the bed covers.

I reach for the syringe on the nightstand and Dean watches while I draw more blood from his arm. He just strokes his cock the whole time moaning and groaning. "Come on! Hurry up already!" I set the syringe of blood on the nightstand.

"You ready for this big dick, Dean?" I'm rubbing lube up and down the whole 12 inches while he watches. I lube up his ass and line myself up.

"Fuck me demon king!" Dean practically growls at me. I guess that's just who he is, because there's no demon in him now. At least I don't think so.

I slowly sink my large cock deep inside Dean. He's panting and pulling on his balls and dick. I lean forward, his legs still up over my shoulders. My hips start thrusting and my dick feels like it's in a vise. "Squirrel, you're so damn tight. Feels amazing. Fuuuuck."

Dean grabs what's left of my hair pulling me into a kiss. It's deep. I pull back and pull myself out of Dean.

"No! Don't stop!" Dean has a look of desperation and real need.

"Don't worry sweetheart. I just want a drink and need you to get on your knees." I grab my glass and take a few swallows of the delicious elixir that seems to be adding to my buzz as much as Dean's blood. I set my glass down and pick up Dean's. I give him the glass. He downs it almost choking on it. "Slow down there. You okay?"

Dean nods and answers in a gruff voice. "I'm fine other than the cock that's missing from my ass!" He gives me an impatient glare.

I'm rubbing lube on my dick. "Patience is a virtue, good things come to those who blah blah blah."  
"Shut up and fuck me before I stab you with an angel blade." Said calm as can be. "Fine."

I get behind Dean and I slam my cock into him full force.

"FUCK YES!"

I grip his hips so hard I know I'm leaving bruises. I pound his ass giving him all I've got. His hands go up on the headboard to keep his head from crashing into it.

"Ohhh yeahhh ! Don't stop!"

I grip his shoulders to hold him up against me. I feel myself getting close. I push Dean head down onto the bed. I reach for Dean's cock and start jerking him as I thrust. "You gonna cum for me Squirrel?!" My breath is fast and panting.

"I'm cumming! Fuuuuck!!!" Dean climaxes and cum covers my hand as I stroke Dean to completion.

I keep pounding Dean's ass as I reach for the syringe of Dean's blood. I'm able to grab it and then inject my neck with his blood. As soon as I do my orgasm overtakes me. "Unghh yesss! Sweet darkness yes!" I drop the syringe to the nightstand and fall next to Dean completely spent and sated. I'm still feeling the high from Dean's blood.

Dean is still on his stomach facing me. His breathing back to normal. I'm on my side facing him and breathing normal. His eyes are closed, but I know he's not sleeping.

Maybe it's nostalgia. Maybe it's his blood inside me. I reach over and touch his face. He just moans a bit. He's so devilishly handsome.

"Dean."

He opens his eyes. "What?"

There's a long silence were we just stare into each other's eyes.

Dean moves so he's laying his head on my chest. Something courses all through my body just like last time. Demon Dean teased about it. Said I was becoming too human. I place my hand on Dean's face and neck. I rub the hairs at his jawline and back of his head. "Am I becoming too human?"

He looks at me with those eyes that remind me of my homeland. "It's a good thing Crowley. Hell may not like it, but for us right here and now, it's perfect." He sits up and kisses me. A sincere kiss that I haven't felt in years. Hell, centuries.

"Seriously. I know who and what I am. I know who and what you are Dean Winchester. You've changed me. You and your brother." I can't stop touching Dean's face. "You might say it's your blood talking. Sure. I think it's something more." Dean rests his head back on my chest. "What is it in you that... that makes you so comfortable with me? Demons fear me. Most people fear and avoid me. Not you. I know I opened up to you when you were a demon, but you were comfortable around me before you got the Mark. Right?"

Dean looks at me with a smile. He reaches up and traces his finger tips over my lips. I kiss them out of reflex. "Crowley. There's a rule I live by. "You break it, you bought it." That rule isn't just for stuff or objects. I apply it to people too. Sam and I broke you. We gave you tons of human blood in an effort to free you from being a demon. It would have also locked all of Hell's gates. My point is that if we never injected you with human blood, you wouldn't be so conflicted right now. You'd just be an evil bastard and I'd never be able to touch you like this." He caresses my cheek and it's nice. "Or kiss you like this." He sits up and kisses me with a heated passion. I place my hand to his face and my fingers move through his hair. I'm feeling so intoxicated. The room is spinning.

Our kiss ends and I have to sit up. "Dean. I need to sit up. I'm feeling nauseous."

He moves quickly. "You shouldn't get ill. What's going on?"

"It could be side effects from your blood, my dear. Could be me craving more? Some kind of Men of Letters MOJO in the whiskey? Who knows?" I'm feeling more sick by the minute.

Dean jumps out of bed and grabs his duffle. He gets his flask of holy water. "I just want to test something. Let me see your hand." I give him my hand. I trust Dean. He lets just a few drops of water fall from the flask onto my hand. A little smoke, but hardly nothing. He has me cup my palm then pours some in my palm. It stings like the water is a bit too hot, but I can hold it just fine. Fog comes off the water, but no sizzle.

I splash the water from my hand. "What the fuck?" I look at Dean with fear in my heart. "Did your blood cure me? Damn it, I should have just stayed away from you."

"Get dressed. I'm taking you to Sam. He will be able to stop it or hopefully reverse it." He stands in front of me and sees I'm upset. He wraps his arms around me and I start crying. I don't know what to fight for. Getting my life back as the king of Hell or keeping this new life that might possibly have Dean in it as a close friend if not more.

Dean helps me get myself together. We are dressed, he's packed up and we're on the road in no time. The drive to the Men of Letters bunker was rough for me. My powers are gone. I'm practically human.

Once inside they take me to the dungeon just so I could walk in and out of the devil's trap that's permanently in place there. Dean tested me again with holy water and there was just some light smoke. No sizzle and no pain.

"Fellas, I'm hungry for food. What is there here to eat?" I yawn really big.

Dean looks so sad. Sam is fascinated.


	7. Sam's POV Story 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: MATURE AUDIENCE
> 
> WINCEST. SMUT.
> 
> This story is right after S12, E23. Dean is depressed. Sam is too. Both have been handling the loss of Cas, and their mom being in an alternate universe, separately. Sam seems to be handling things better. They end up in each other's arms again. This time things become more intense.

[Sam's POV]

Dean has been so quiet and morose since Cas died and mom got trapped with Lucifer. There's been nothing I can do to get through to him. I offer to just sit and listen, but he tells me he's fine. He's stopped eating except when he has to. He gave up drinking, which is a total shocker to me. All he does is sit in his room, look at photographs and listen to his music.

Dean barges in, "Where is it Sammy!" Dean's obviously angry.

"Where's what?" I'm confused. I'm in my room putting away my laundry.

Dean has a couple photos in his hand. "The picture of mom and me when I was 4. She's behind me with her arm around me. You know the one. It's usually on my nightstand."

I'm pissed he'd accuse me of taking anything of his. Especially a picture he holds so dear. "I never touched it Dean. You must have misplaced it."

He sets the pictures he's holding down on my nightstand. "I've looked for two days straight. It's not in my room. That means someone took it from my room. I didn't." Dean looks at me with pain in his eyes.

I think really hard. "It was on your nightstand when Ketch came in and planted bugs. Could it have been missing since then?"

Dean thinks on this. "Oh god Sam. I forgot all about that bastard." Dean sits down on my bed and buries his face in his hands. "I feel like I'm losing my mind."

I clear my laundry from my bed and sit next to him. "It's okay. I might have a copy of the photo somewhere."

Dean lowers his hands, but doesn't look up. "I feel so alone."

I wrap my arms around him and pull him close. "It's okay Dean. I'm here." He seems unresponsive at first, but soon his arms are around my neck and he's pressing his lips to mine. As we kiss I can taste the saltiness from his tears.

I wipe at his tears and give Dean a smile. My arm is still snug around his waist. "I got you Dean."

Dean pushes me down onto the bed. He kisses my neck and jaw. His lips move over mine perfectly. His hand in my hair. I move my hands over his body as his tongue invades my mouth. I moan at how good it feels to have him wanting me again like this.

Dean stops kissing me and looks into my eyes. "Sammy, don't stop getting me. I need you now more than ever."

I reach up and stroke his cheek. "I'm not going anywhere. I need you too." I kiss him softly while pulling at his shirt and he helps me take it off.

My hands move over his bare chest while he stares down at me. He confesses to me, "I miss this." I can feel his heart slamming against his chest as my palm rests there. Are we really going to do this? Every time we start, it builds up and one of us stops. "Don't over think things Sammy. Just live in the moment."

I move my hand from his chest to his face. "Ok Dean." I slip my hand around his neck and pull him down for a heated kiss. I don't hold back this time. My tongue forces it's way past his lips and causes him to moan. I push him over on his back while he's gripping at my shirt. We stop kissing long enough to pull it over my head.

Dean kisses my neck, collar bone and chest. He laughs to himself. "When did you get all this hair on your chest?"

He runs his fingers over my chest and my nipples respond instantly. So does my cock. I grin, "When I stopped being so vain that I had to shave it all the time. It doesn't look bad?" His questioning my decision has me wondering if I should start shaving again.

He wraps his arms around my body and leans up. He places his cheek against my chest. "Mmmm. It's soft. I think I like it."

My cock is so hard right now. When Dean relaxes and looks back up at me I can feel how hard he is too. We stare at each other. "Are you going to let me make love to you Dean or just touch you?"

A tear slips from Dean's eye. "Sam. Please." The look on Dean's face was enough to tell me that my brother wasn't going to deny my anything. Not this time. He's not going to get me all worked up just to tell me it's wrong and walk away. I don't think I could endure that again.

Dean pushes me so we're on our sides facing each other. My hair falls in my face. He brushes my hair back. "You're so incredibly handsome. I never tell you that. I tease you all the time."

"You're suppose to. That's your job." I smile. My hand moves over his back and down to feel his firm ass.

He closes his eyes and his head falls back. I kiss under his jaw and down his throat. I press my hand around to his hip and lay him flat as my lips move over his chest. I suck at his nipple causing him to gasp. He grips the hair at the back of my head. I rub my hand across his jeans, pressing down on his hard dick. He moans my name.

My heart is pounding in my chest. I look up and see green eyes watching my every move as my lips and tongue move across his taunt ribs and stomach muscles. My mouth watering as I undo his belt and pants. I pull them off and rub my hand over the wet spot on his briefs where his hard cock aches for freedom. His head goes back and his body arches with a groan of pleasure. My other hand runs across his chest and abs as I free his cock and lick it's leaking slit.

Dean moans breathlessly, "Sammy, you're killing me."

I grin and watch Dean bite his bottom lip while I start sucking his cock. He holds my hair back and watches me swallow him down like I've done this so many times, but I haven't. I suck and swirl my tongue on his hard length while cupping his balls in my hand.

He reaches down and pulls me up to his lips by my chin. My chest presses against his and his hands hold me close while we kiss. I'm so hard it's painful as I grind down against his thigh. My hair is trapped in our mouth as we kiss. I pull back and we both gasp for air. "Touch me Dean. Do something." He pushes me to my back and just looks at me. I look back with confusion, "What?"

I reach up and he takes my hand and holds it. He has a passion in his eyes. He speaks softly, "I've never really seen you like this before."

Now I'm feeling self conscious and vulnerable. "Seen me like what, hungry for affection?"

Dean shakes his head and leans in closer to me. "No. Full of light and love in a way that makes you more beautiful than you already are. Is it because of me?" He touches my cheek and I swear I feel my face redden under his touch.

I'm gripping the sheets on either side of me. I bite my bottom lip and finally look into his emerald green eyes. "This is nothing. Grab the lube.." I point at my nightstand. "..and see what happens when you're inside me and I find my piece of heaven."

Dean quickly gets up and grabs the lube from the nightstand. I pull off my jeans and boxers.

Dean returns to stand over me as I'm laying on the bed. He's smiling down at me and looking at every part of me like he wants me. It's odd for me to see him worshipping my body the way he is with his eyes. "If I didn't know you better, I'd swear you're drunk." I smile up at him as he falls on top of me. His smile is something I've missed these past few weeks. "You know, you're not bad looking yourself."

Dean rolls his eyes and smiles. "I know. I hear it all the time." He kisses my neck and nips at my ear. I take a deep breath. "You don't hear it enough. I hear women say it about you when we're out, but you never listen. You bury yourself in your computer or books. I know why. Tonight, you need to let go of the past." He pulls back and looks into my eyes. "I'm going to make you feel wanted." He kisses me.

I close my eyes and let go of all my apprehensions. I started with the thought of pleasing Dean. Making him feel loved and wanted. Now Dean's doing the same for me. How long has it been since I felt truly wanted? Piper was just sex. Scratching an itch.

"Sam." I open my eyes. He looks into my eyes and searches them. "Are you with me?"

I move my hands over his back. His weight resting on me. Our thighs between each other's legs. "I'm right here. I'm with you Dean."

He kisses me and I melt into him. I grip the back of his neck deepening our kiss. He fists my hair. We move our hips slowly and press our hard cocks against each other's hips. My nails rake down his back. I know I left marks.

We roll to our side and I grip his jaw while kissing him. His stubble feels different and exciting to me. He reaches down and wraps his hand around my cock and I swear I almost cum at his touch.

He kisses my chin and throat as I moan in pleasure. I whisper, "Dean."

He kisses across my shoulder. "You like how I'm touching you?"

I nod yes.

He nips at my neck and pushes me to my back. His lips move to my chest and nipples. He's still stroking my cock slowly. Tortourously slow. I look into his eyes as he nibbles on my hard nipple. "Fuck." My cock leaks onto his hand. He strokes me with the precum.

Dean sucks my nipple and moves to the other. My fingers move through his soft short hair. "Feels so good." He nips at my nipple and I arch my back. "Oh shit." I pull his head up and kiss him wrapping my arms around his head as I kiss him. My legs wrap around him too.

He starts smiling while we kiss. "I guess you like that?"

I relax and sigh. I kiss his jaw. "Yeah, I do. I'd like something else." I lay back and pick up the lube. "I want to feel you inside me."

He kisses me and takes the bottle. He has a bit of a blush to his cheeks when he asks me, "Have you ever done this before?"

My cheeks feel red when I say, "Yes and I liked it."

Dean's eyebrows shoot up and he smiles. "Sammy! Have you been in the closet all this time?"

It's my turn to roll my eyes. "I'm bisexual Dean. From the looks of things, so are you."

Dean kisses me with passion. His tongue dancing with mine. His hand in my hair. My hand gripping his ass. After a few moments we take a breath. He looks at me very seriously, "Sammy, I'm very straight except with you. I love you so much I can hardly breathe. I can't explain it."

He's on his knees. He squeezes some lube out. "I'm going to show you." He leans over me and kisses me. My legs are up on either side of him while we kiss. He lubes my ass and fingers me open slowly. While he's doing this he's playing with my nipples and kissing me.

He pulls back and looks into my eyes while fingering my ass. He hits my prostate and my head goes back against the pillow, "Oh shit Dean. That's so good." I gasp for breath.

He has me loosened up and lubes himself. He lines his cock up at my entrance. His hand on my face and looking into my eyes as he slowly buries himself inside me for the first time ever. It hurts some, but I swear I didn't feel the pain. All I felt was Dean receiving pleasure and love from me and giving it in return.

He stayed inside me like that and kissed me for what seemed like forever. "I love you." He looked at me and started moving his hips slowly at first. A tear escaped the corner of my eye. He wiped it away and kisses my eye. I thought it was so perfect. He thumbed over my cheek and gasped while thrusting harder, "I love you too."

I gripped his ass encouraging him to go deeper. My mouth is agape. My brow furrowed with pleasure.

Dean's eyes are half closed. He's biting his lip with concentration and determination. Possibly trying not to cum too soon. I find him incredibly sexy.

"You feel so good." I lean up and kiss him. He's kissing me back. "I want to feel you from behind."

He pulls out slowly. I feel his absence and want him back inside me as soon as possible. I watch him grab a towel out of my clean stack of laundry. I sit up on the side of the bed. He uses the towel to dry my already soaked skin and hair. It feels good to have him take care of me like this. He wipes off himself as well.

I take his empty hand in mine. I kiss his hand and suck on his index finger while looking into his eyes. My tongue swirls around the pad of his finger. He's standing right in front of me and I look down. His cock is taking noticable interest in what I'm doing. I look back up at his face. He pulls his finger away making a pop sound as it leaves my lips.

He holds my face in his hands as we kiss. He sucks at my tongue and I moan. I stand up and wrap my arms around him. Our cocks rub together and we both make enjoyable sounds. Dean stops kissing and looks down at our hard cocks. I look down as well. He wraps his hand around them both as best he can and tries to stroke them together at the same time. I place my larger hand over his and help. Every time the edge of the head of his cock rubs up against the head of mine it sends jolts of pleasure up my spine. I reach down for the lube and place some on my hand. I then use it to slick us both up. Dean thrusts into our hands and up against my hard dick. I gasp in pleasure, "Fuck Dean. That feels good."

He grabs my neck with his free hand and kisses me while we're doing this. I release my grip on our dicks. I grip his hair and pull him back gently. My voice is rough. It's taking all I can do to stay calm. "Dean. I need more." I let his hair go and wrap my arms around him.

"What is it Sam? Tell me." He holds me as I tremble in his arms.

"What I want frightens me." How do I tell Dean I want him to hurt me? I should just be happy with what he's able to give me.

Dean looks at me, but I can't look at him. All I can feel is shame for even remembering the things I've done.

"It's HIM isn't it?" Dean tilts my head back and forces me to look at him. "HE showed you things and now you crave them."

I nod. "Don't misunderstand. He did things to me..." I sit down on the bed.

Dean gets on his knees in front of me and holds my face in his hands. "Sammy, don't let your mind go there. Stay here with me. Okay."

I pull Dean into my arms. "I love you so much."

"Tell me what you want and I'll try. I know you need something, just say it." He looks at me with so much love.

I can't look at him while saying it. "Be aggressive. Bite me. Pull my hair. Grip me so hard I'll have bruises. Scratch me. Make me feel again." After a couple seconds of silence I look up. Dean looks lost in his thoughts. "Nevermind. Forget I said anything."

Dean suddenly replies, "No! No. It's okay. Just lost in my head for a minute is all." He's smiling at me.

I look up at him. I'm a bit embarrassed as I explain, "It's just women can't be as physical. You know?"

He understands why I'm feeling the way I am. He's acting protective of me. "Sammy it's okay." He kisses my temple and I like it. I hold him close. I'm torn between wanting him to protect me and wanting him to dominate me. I try explaining what I need. I breathe him in. "Dean, fuck me hard like you've never fucked anyone ever. Make me feel like I'm yours. Mark me."

Dean surprises me by forcing me to turn around so my back is to his front. His hands grip my hips firmly. His cock presses against my ass crack. I'm ready for him to take me. Dean puts his mouth to my ear, "Sam. It's not in me to hurt you on purpose. Your whole life all I've ever done is try to protect you from harm." Dean grips my cock and strokes me. "You are MINE Sam. From the moment you were placed in my arms for protection. It's because of this, I'm going to give you what you need. Just know it's going against my nature when it comes to how I see you."

He bites my neck and I feel it. His nails dig into my chest. I whimper some as pure excitement takes over me. "Fuuuck. Yes."

He forces me to bend forward and my hands fall onto the dresser. He spreads my legs apart. I can see our reflection in the mirror as he lubes up. I'm so anxious for this. I need it. The dreams and nightmares. The not touching anyone for fear I'll hurt them. People I get close to die. One dark angel made sure I felt every bit of what I deserved. Thing is, over time I came to like it. I like the pain mixed with pleasure. I'm so fucked up.

Dean grabs me out of my thoughts by driving his cock deep into my ass. "Oh fuck!" He pulls the back of my hair and begins pounding against my ass. I arch my back. He grips my hips so hard with his other hand that there will be bruising. Good.

Dean is breathing heavy and leans against my back while thrusting his hips against my ass. He pinches and twists my nipples hard. I bite my bottom lip. He reaches up and wraps his hand around my throat. He squeezes down just right to block my airway and blood flow. My cock is throbbing it's so hard. "You like how hard I'm fucking you?"

I nod yes. He releases my neck and I gasp for air. He pushes me forward and my face is pressed against my dresser. He's slamming into me so hard things are falling off the dresser. His hand pulls my hair while pushing my head against the wood so hard it hurts. My hands are on the dresser, but I make no attempt to push back. I let Dean take full control. I want this.

After fucking me so hard and deep, I know I'll feel it tomorrow, he leans over me and bites at my shoulder. He pulls me up by my hair and grips my throat again. Still thrusting at a steady pace. "You like that don't you? Me taking control of whether you breathe or not?"

I nod slightly. I see his face in my peripheral vision. He's got fire in his eyes. Lust like I've never seen. I'm on the edge of orgasm. He releases my neck and I gasp for air. "Oh, Dean." I reach back and grip his ass.

He jerks my hand from his ass. He pulls my hair and his cock comes out of my ass. He drags me by my hair to the wall and slams me into it. "Fuck you Sammy for making me want you like this!"

He presses his body against mine and rams his cock back inside me. My legs are slightly bent and he's being very rough. My hands are flat against the wall. He grabs my throat again and holds tight. He bites my shoulder hard. Licks at the wound. He's breathing so hard. He grunts, "Mine!" Bites down once more as he cums inside me.

I can't breathe as I too cum without touching myself. The orgasm is one of the most intense I've ever had. I paint the wall with multiple jets of cum. He releases my throat and I feel the orgasm intensify. More cum leaves me as I cough for breath. I fall to the floor gasping for air.

Dean is standing over me with one arm on the wall. I look up at him while holding my throat. He goes from looking completely sated to completely concerned. "Are you alright?"

I smile up at him. My voice cracks, "Yeah."

Now he's really worried. He takes my hand and helps me up. We both go to the bed. I have a glass of water on my nightstand and he gives it to me. I drink it. It burns going down. I make sure to not show any outward signs of pain.

He gets up and takes the glass to the bathroom. He refills it and brings it back with a warm wash cloth to clean up with. He hands them both to me. I clean up while he cleans up the mess off the wall and picks things up off the floor that fell off the dresser.

When he's done and returns, I'm sitting on the bed looking at the photos he set on the nightstand. He sees the bite marks on my shoulders. He leaves and comes back with a first aid kit. I set the pictures on the nightstand while he climbs up on the bed and starts dabbing my wounds with antibiotic ointment. He kisses my flesh and it sends goose bumps all over me. I sigh, "Dean."

He wraps his arm around me. His lips against the nape of my neck. His warm breath causing me to squirm. "Is that what you wanted?"

I turn to face him. My hand on his neck and jaw. "That's what I needed. Yes." My voice still sounds raw. I can't mask it.

Dean touches my throat. "Those bruises and bite marks won't go away for a while." He seems remorseful.

I lean forward and kiss him. I pull him into my arms and kiss him deeply. He responds by kissing me back with just as much passion. We hold each other. I tell him how I feel, "I don't care. You gave me what I needed to feel alive again. I'm sorry if I made you feel strange."

He stops me with a kiss. He looks into my eyes and tells me with all sincerity, "I'm not saying I would do it again, that way. I just know that this right here is worth it." His hand is on my chest. He's telling me that I'm worth whatever it takes for us to be together. Like I'm his reward.

I put my hand on his chest. "I couldn't agree more."

We're looking into each other's eyes. "Sammy, just so you know. Lucifer is a dead angel. I don't know when, where or how - but I am going to kill that sonofabitch."

I just grin. "Okay Dean. I believe you. If you need my help, I'm with you."

He lays down on his back and pulls me onto him so my head is on his chest. Both of is still naked as we cover up with my blanket. His arms are wrapped around me. "I'll always need you Sammy."

We both fall into a peaceful slumber. The best sleep Dean or I've had in a very long time. In the morning, I plan on looking for that missing photo right after breakfast.


End file.
